Babies should be encoraged to drink at an early age. Too often young people don't get introduced to alcohol until high school. This has got to stop. Alcohol is the solution to all of life's problems. The sooner children realise this the happier and more productive they will be. Imagine a baby who was too drunk to know that his diaper needed changing! He would never cry or complain, he would just crawl around in a peaceful, stinky bliss.
"But Joe, that's ridiculous!" I hear you say... "What about the smell?" Well, if the parents had been raised properly themselves they'd be drunk, too, and the smell would not bother them. Sure, they might stumble around the house accidentally stepping on and kicking the baby... But it's a drunk baby. He's not gonna feel pain.
See how easy this works? What if we required the United Nations Reps to be drunk whenever they were in session... Can anyone say "Peace on Earth? " Don't bother to thank me.
1 comment:
Great theory, Joe. Only one flaw: What if the UN reps turn out to be belligerent drunks?
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